Some shorts this morning:
Traffic: Well September is here and with back to school comes back to school traffic. And with back to school traffic comes back to school traffic idiots. A short shout out to say welcome back to the following:
Angry Mini-Van Driver: this fellow always wanted to be driving his Iroc (Iroc-4-Life!) but an unplanned 12 seconds in the backseat of said iroc lead to a quick marriage and a kid. Now he's driving a mini-van and he's angry with fate for the hand he has been dealt. He cuts off other drivers (to symbolize the castration of his freedom), he swerves in and out of lanes (symbolic of his switching of roles from parent self to child self) and he shows his free wheeling attitude by well... freewheeling. His mini-van handles like an iroc. But it is not his Iroc. Weep for the iroc man.
The I'm Doing Okay Guy: This is the guy who gets in the fast lane, the one that's been moving at a good pace, and thinks "I'm Doing Okay! I don't need to go any faster!" This is the guy that drives the speed limit and no faster. Oh sure, he may venture 5K over on a straight stretch, but when that curve comes you gotta go slow - because slow and steady gets you there later.
The Make-up, Cellphone Coffee Chick: Didn't have time to do all this before leaving, the MCC chick has all this spare time in the car to take care of the essentials. Sure the lipstick is a little smeared from going around a curve, and sure her new dress is covered with coffee stains but she makes it to work because of her awesome time management skills. But one question? Who in the hairy frell are you calling at 6:34 in the morning?
But anyway, welcome back to all of you. I've missed you. But only because I've been paying attention.
Computers: I have been spending an inordinate amount of time in front of computers these days and its seriously impacting my World of Warcraft time, which I ironically would be playing on a computer. I've been working a lot of hours in the computer lab for the school where I do some part time work and that combined with the desk job that occupies most of my time equals sore wrists and tired eyes. So when it comes 8:30pm and I'd normally log on? Not so much. Computers are wonderful things - but you can only take so much. I don't want less computer time, just a little alteration with what I'm doing on the computer.
Bad Memory and a Long Walk: So listening to the radio this morning there's a "news" story about how a brisk walk can do almost as much to help memory problems as drugs. It makes sense in away: when you're out walking you've got the time to think and you can walk your way to what you were trying to remember - plus I'm sure there's all sorts of hormonal things that go on when you walk. But the story also said the walk did as much as Alzheimer medication to bring back memory function - so here's the question? Would you want someone who's memory is that bad going for a walk? What if they don't remember to come back? Seriously though, it would be great if true - prescription drugs are great but side effects suck (despite the fact that you can scratch your back with that third arm that grew from taking that Tricocilimborex for your sinuses).
As my boy would say: dereygo (or "There you go" in adultspek).
2 comments:
I think you should also do a shout out to the guy from Surrey in the 1980s giant black home painted Ford Pick up with the Fuzzy dice who was in the HOV lane this morning with no 2nd person. And let's not forget the guy who actually was in his Iroc, wearing an acid washed jean jacket cutting in and out of traffic without signaling. It was good to see them too.
As always Bill, my coffee cup is filled and you filled my proverbial cup to it's fullest with laughter. You have a great gift to be cynical and still make it hilarious to listen to you!
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