A mathematical proof of why I think the thumb is a finger

There are some questions that man (and woman) have pondered throughout the ages: how many angels can dance on a pinhead, if a tree falls on a philosopher does anyone care, what is the sound of one hand clapping and will it activate the Clapper. But perhaps the most important of life's unanswered questions is: The Thumb; a finger or a ... well thumb.

I think I've solved it.

Today at work I made a joke to my boss about the middle finger, referring to that digit used to commit the act colloquially known as "flipping the bird" and the answer struck me.

If the thumb is not considered a finger then there are only four fingers on each hand (unless you're the guy that Inigo Montoya was looking for: a six fingered man (who by the way had five fingers and a thumb which is further evidence that my argument contains aqua) and at this very moment you're preparing to die). In a set of four numbers it is conceivably difficult to find out which finger would be classified as the middle.

If you assign a numeric value to each finger, for instance the pointer is 1, the index finger is 2, the ring finger is 3 and the pinkie finger is 4 you now have a set of numbers that looks like 1234. To find the middle in this set of numbers you add the middle two numbers and divide it to find the average - in this case 2.5.

Where does that leave us?

Now let us assume that the thumb is in fact a finger and we are left with an odd set of numbers. Keeping the same numerical arrangement as listed above, yet this time assigning the #5 to the thumb we have a set of numbers equaling: 12345. Where the set of numbers is odd, the middle digit (interesting how numbers are digits and fingers are digits; by saying middle digit I in fact again said middle finger) would be 3. Using our numerical assignations, 3 is on the index finger or "middle finger."

Here are some assumptions used in this mathematical proof:
1) The finger used to "flip the bird" is the longest finger on the average human hand.
2) The finger used to "flip the bird" is also known as the "middle" fingers.
3) Assuming the normal number of fingers on any given hand, in order for the "flipping" finger to be called the middle finger there should be 5 fingers on the hand.
4) The thumb is the 5th finger.
5) The thumb is A finger.

Math - its not just for arithmetip any more (arithmetip is the sub-branch of arithmetic used to find the exact amount of tip required to round your total bill to an even number).