Dear Solitary Reader:
It is a truth of television that shows must repeatedly find ways to make themselves new or risk becoming stale, trite, and even worse, cancelled. For many the formula to renewing viewer interest involves adding new characters to the show (like when they brought in Dawn in Buffy the Vampire Slayer); some shows vary from their original plot and tread into the unfamiliar waters of the serious subject such as the time when Jo, Blair, Tootie and Natalie ended up in Jail on the Facts of Life.
Some shows, such as Days of Our Lives, like to throw in a little demonic possession; let us all take a moment and weep for when TV hit that particular low point.
Other shows seem to have found the magical formula that keeps them from aging; and Sesame Street is one of those shows. So, because this show won’t go ahead and fail on its own, I’ve decided to spice up Sesame Street in a way which will bring a whole new audience to its door.
Without any ado whatsoever I present to you Sesame Street 2150.
New Theme song:
Sunless Day, sweeping the riff raff away
On my way to where the air smell's of defeat;
Can you tell me why I should go
Why I should go to Sesame Street
With the updating of our show we have taken some characters and altered them; we didn’t want to get rid of the original cast entirely because that would have alienated the original viewers. In a fit of genius we’ve changed the stalwarts of the original Sesame street to reach an even greater audience.
Big Borg BIO: It turns out the Borg weren’t a drug induced, luddite-esque nightmare from Star Trek: The Next Generation producers. The Borg exist, and in a rather hilarious Galaxy Quest like scenario have been monitoring earth; much like the aliens in the Galaxy Quest world the Borg thought Sesame Street was real and abducted the assumed leader: Big Bird. Big Bird was assimilated and became Big Borg and sent to live on Sesame Street where he teaches the importance of mob rule and the benefits of the hive mentality.
Oscar the Statue
Oscar the Statue BIO: About 50 years from now Oscar will retreat into his garbage can and spend all his time in the cavernous home. Neither Sully nor Wormie will hear from him. 30 years after that an expedition will be sent down into Oscar’s can and find that Oscar had been cloning himself but do to a freak accident Oscar will have petrified himself and all his issue. At the same time Hollywood will be going through stringent financial reorganization and recognize the opportunity for an almost limitless supply of their beloved Oscar statues.
|Two Headed Monster: The lovable two headed monster will remain the same as he is seen as an excellent character to reach out to conjoined twins market (a niche market, but a market non the less).|
|Elmo: Elmo is Elmo… you don’t mess with Elmo|
Many other changes will be made in order to spruce up Sesame Street, in a flash, here are just a few of them:
- Sesame Street will grow to become a city and will be called Sesamopolis
- Mr. Hooper will be reanimated as a zombie and take his rightful place as the owner of Mr. Hooper’s.
- All human characters will be removed from the show: this will air in a three part feature called Sesame Street: The Purging of the Humans. I can’t give too much away but let’s just say Big Borg + technology = trouble for humanity.
- And so much more.
And there you have it folks a preliminary look at the world of Sesame Street as it will be in the year 2150… or next week if PBS accepts my pitch.