Friday, January 1, 2010


Dear Solitary Reader

As someone who’s played his fair share and more of World of Warcraft I don’t have much negative to say about the game; the people who play it of course are another matter.

There are several types of people who play these games: there’s the people who enjoy computer games with a role playing/story telling element, people who play to escape their crappy lives, people who want to play in a social environment with others who enjoy similar likes and dislikes and then there are the just plain nutbars. The first three are to a degree acceptable of course (all things in moderation including moderation) its the last one that you have to worry about.

Which brings me to the following news story: Barrie boy, 16, found safe in Orillia with woman, 42 For those of you too lazy to pursue the fine art of linking; essentially Romeo fell in love with Juliet (or more specifically Juliet’s mother) and ran away from home to be with his love.

In this case it is obvious that World of Warcraft is a vehicle for something that would have started up in some other way just with different participants; neither person at either end of the spectrum on this one seems to be riding their elevators all the way to the top floor.

The 42 year old who’s had “several” online relationships and yet is still married with four children, she’s done a number of things that bear closer consideration:

  • She’s obviously violated the “half your age plus 5” rule that everyone knows is the acceptable method of determining the lowest age bracket you can pursue. Even if she' thought the kid was 20 that still doesn’t fit: 26 is the lowest she is able to go via this societal law.
  • Oh yeah, did I mention she’s married? I mean I know to 90% of the population marriage doesn’t mean a lot, but for shit’s sake at least go get a divorce if you’re going to be running around with other people (real and imagined)
  • She’s opened up th game for a host of World of Whorecraft jokes. Unfair to the rest of us you vixen!

The 16 year old is not blameless either; granted the bonehead is 16 years old and is a raging ball of hormones, but he’s supposed to be on the cusp of adulthood and that chemically induced fog should be lifting at least a little. Here’s some things he ought to be thinking about:

  • If you have to leave a note for your mother to tell her you’re running off to be with your love (and further, if running off to be with your love means that you are also violating curfew) you are not old enough to be in love. Use the internet for what every other red blooded 16 year old uses the Internet for: Facebook.
  • No relationship based on a lie will live very long. You told the woman you were 20; she might start to wonder eventually why you kept coming back empty handed from the store without the beer OR the cigarettes.
  • There is Coffee Mate,: there is no Soul Mate (or if there is a soul mate she should be born in at least the same generation as you).

This story can be summed up simply by saying that a bored, disenchanted house wife and a 16 year old incapable of relating to his own peers got a little carried away.

I think the real story here is actually the newspaper. They missed an obvious opportunity for some great article titles

  • If they wanted crass and risqué they could have said: “World of Whorecraft”
  • Game related: “Love Among the Ruins of Lordaeron”, “Level 16 n00b pwns Lvl 42 drood”, etc



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