Today, January 8th, marks what would have been the 75th birthday of some guy named Elvis Presley. If he’s dead, may he rest in piece. If he’s not stop being such a bloody slowpoke and get me ma damn Whopper you geriatric waste.
Now I think anyone over the age of 18 knows who Elvis is, but if you don’t, click the name and Wikipedia will tell you all about him. It’s quite the tale – love, honour, tragedy, elephants and a man who came into the world and left his mark on it (I was kidding about the elephants).
Now the thing about Elvis Presley, more than the man, more than the mystery, is this: he’s DEAD! Can we stop counting his birthday’s please?
What is it with famous people? Why do we have to continually count their birthdays after they’re dead? Doesn’t it make more sense to count the years they’ve been dead? Maybe its just me, but doesn’t it sound better to say that Elvis has been dead 33 years than to say he’d be 75 if he was alive?
Another question: at what point is it okay to stop this practice? Because if EP has been dead for some odd 33 years frankly with the life expectancy of the average male being in the neighbourhood of that very age of 75, there’s a good chance that if Elvis were alive he’d be dead.
But hey, if we must keep up with the practice then this is how old all these people would be if they weren't dead:
- Jesus would be 2043-ish
- Abe Lincoln would be about 201
- Willie Nelson would be 77
- Socrates would be 2479 (go Socrates you old dog!)
- Sherlock Holmes would be 133
and the list goes on…
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