Tuesday, July 15, 2008

Time x 2

Here's a little logic puzzle.

I spend too much time in traffic.
I carpool with my wife.
I do not spend too much time with my wife.

The lesson? Perception. I like my wife. Time passess swiftly on the wings of cherubs in her presence. Conversely, (that's an interesting word now that I write it... wasn't there Converse sneakers? To what were they converse ? Adidas? Nike?) I detest traffic. A minute in the car stuck in traffic feels like an hour I'll never get back. Two vastly different experiences experienced at the same time.

It all comes down to perception. But its not just perception. It's mood. Mood comes before perception. And then there are events. Events shape moods. So its a circle: Events shape Moods --> Moods shape Perception --> Perception shapes Events --> Set Moods and so on. It's not a vicious circle, but its not the type of circle you invite home for tea and to meet the parents either.

What's the point of all of this? If you're evil dingo you'll say I have no point, and you just might be right. I'm trying to figure out why my mood's been so fowl as of late (spelling intentional) and foul as well. Most likely I just need a vacation.

Anyway, here's today's stupid poem.

An Ode to the Swingline (Stapler)
A staple in the office environment

Somewhere the squirrels make merry,
Romping under trees with cheeks of cherry.
I, however, feel sometimes as if a fetter
Cuffed me, in the form of a PC Load Letter;
Where might I find a brace for my sanity?
Or is this merely an instance of vanity?

Its then I dwell upon it, a tool that will bless
My desktop, performing its duty, bunching up less;
It does not complain, it does not judge,
And there’s rarely a day it refuses to budge;
No bunched up staple marring its work;
And the gleaming redness, that’s a perk!

You cannot have it! No way! It’s mine!
I’m speaking of course of my Swingline,
A stapler of gods if they needed to staple
(Maybe that’s why the leaves stick to the maple
Trees); were I to move my desk eight times
I would not, dare not, leave it behind.

So the next time sitting in your seat
Feeling tired, down and beat,
All you need is to look around;
For that which every day you yourself push down;
Ask yourself why it feels no pain;
Swingline staples, and does not complain!

*Oh yeah, the fowl spelling... I started work on a movie about carnivorous chickens, I'm calling it The Flock... I was also considering Chickens! Run!


Tanya said...

So if you guys weren't commuting or sitting in traffic together, would you say you weren't spending enough time with your wife?

htwavcbh said...

Of course... I have a healthy sense of self-preservation...

... and it would be true.