Wednesday, July 9, 2008

Burn Baby Burn

So I'm playing volleyball yesterday, having a blast. The complex where I work is holding a volleyball tournament. We lost, but it was close. About 25 minutes into the game that I started to feel it. It wasn't an all of a sudden thing, just a niggling thought in the back of my brain.

When the game was over, the thought came full to the front of my head. I was going to sunburn. That's one of those "Thanks a lot Mr. Too Late Now Brain" moments. Sure enough by the end of the day I was burnt, tired and getting kind of pissed.

And then my sandal broke. Those things have been hanging on for years and I shouldn't be surprised that they broke. But when something's been the way it has been for 3 years, that's the way it is, so when it broke I was indeed p.o'd. If there's one thing both Theseus and I can tell you... a sword and a good pair of shows can go a long way.

A Lament for a Broken Shoe

Even now you sit in the garbage bin,
In a fit of rage I threw you in;
But now I sit here and despair
For I could have taken you for repair!
Three years and more you gave to me
How could I treat you so savagely?
Velcro straps to hold in place,
Done up tightly lest I need to race.

I treated broken the same as brother,
Threw them both out, I'll get another
Pair, at some shoe store this week;
For just the right pair I must seek.
Until such time, this is what I do
Sit and lament, for my broken shoe.


PrincessButtercup said...

Oh sadness! Shoes have to be my least favorite thing to shop for! I mean, I love shoes like any girl would but I love the whoes I have. I don't actually enjoy looking for shoes, they are hard to find. I reall hope you find what you are looking for!

Evil Dingo said...

Wow. I am ever glad I browsed over to your hard hitting blog. Well worth it. Not only do I get another crappy poem, but perhaps the most boring update of your pathetic life I've ever read.

What's that going to cost you to replace? $1.99 at WalMart? Oh, your hard life.

Good to know that with everything going on in the world, you've decided to clog the plumbing of the written online world with your 'Made-in-China', lead-painted, blue light special, broken sandals and the fact that you're too dumb to slather some sun screen on that giant misshapen bald head. It's good to have priorities.

Now, the fact that you were playing volleyball -- that's more interesting. That would have been a spectacle I'd have liked to have seen. Don't you actually have to move faster than a ungainly shamble? I'd have enjoyed watching your fat bloated carcass trying to chase around the volleyball (most likely you were chasing it with the idea that you'd like to catch it, ice it with vanilla frosting and butter, and eat it) while your neighbors secretly rolled their eyes at you and considered ways to dispose of your body.

Anyways, crappy post as usual. Looking forward to seeing you on Saturday.

Your BFF,

Evil Dingo

htwavcbh said...

What's that saying?

Those who can't write, critique?

Having seen what you've written here, maybe its a good thing you never submitted anything when we tried writing groups.

Tanya said...

We have the best burn cream ever but I bought it in France. But thanks to this stuff I no longer fear the burn!

I still fear the broken shoe.