Ladies & Gentlemen, I have been given a gift. It is a gift I intend to use for the betterment of mankind, once I can figure out how.
This morning, for the 4th day in a row, I was able to crack a hardboiled egg such that the shell came off in one easily removed piece. Four times is not a coincidence. It is a gift.
It’s a very specific gift, true, and its usability is debatable – unless I can figure out how to transfer this skill.
Perhaps I will become Hardboiled – mild manner appraiser by day, hardboiled egg hurler by night – fighting crime with my Eggs of Justice. Together with my sidekick – the Boiler (hey someone will have to prepare the eggs for me, I can’t do EVERYTHING) – we will show the villains of this city that the consequences of crime are eggcruciating.
Conversely, I could get a job at IHOP and fight evil there. You know what they say about fighting evil from within…
Look to the skies people, when you see Hardboiled & the Boiler, you’ll know justice is coming in 3 to 5 minutes after the water is boiled.