Monday, July 7, 2008

HTWAVCBH Vs The Evil Dingo

One day I sat me down to write
A word or two to describe my plight;
No Edda sure, no "Captain's Log"
Twas just an entry in my blog;
But it raised the voice of a stupid dog.

I wrote no words of true intent
No soft and silent, hoarse lament
Of days gone by in horrid sorrow;
Not weeping for today or tomorrow
No trouble, was I looking to borrow.

But in all times of idle chatter
There arise voices from the clatter;
It was as if some little boy
Had found what was his daddy's toy
"This keyboard!" it said. "I will smite joy."

Now for one such as this I think
He "smites his joy" in the bathroom sink;
A truly disgusting spectacle
And a blatant misuse of that receptacle
A thought, true story, not delectable.

A tangent that was, I apologize
For the blinding of your inner eyes,
It was coarse, true, a blatant thing so
Vile that it was worthy of the evil dingo;
Who is but a failed result of genetic bingo.

The dingo hails from Australia,
Historically a place they jail ya,
So what does this tell us of his traits?
He is leprous skank in dire straits?
Or the love slave of one Bill Gates?

He sits alone and mocks his friends
With no one there to change his Depends;
He's just some silly little griper
Sitting in his adult diaper
Paying off his karmic Pied Piper.

"I'm looking forward to Monday's Posts'
He writes and things its some silly boast.
One thing he forgets, this blog hater
That where insults go, I am greater,
His best insult is "See ya later."

Now sure the little ones must strive
Else how would they know that they're alive?
Where he's as insulting as Charo
I am the insult Kilimanjaro
Read those cards, Dingo, its your Tarot.

With you I have so much material
From your balding scalp to diseases venereal;
So write your words upon my wall
And let the insults come one and all
So the world can watch the Dingo's fall.


Evil Dingo said...

Ok, let me get this straight. You have just written a "poem" (using the term loosely, of course) which references Charo.

Charo?? "Cuchi-cuchi" Charo??

Wow, what's the matter -- were you watching Merv Griffin reruns all weekend and that's the best you could come up with to rhyme with Kilimanjaro?

And here I was all prepared to let you know how much your blogging sucks, and you've pretty much done that yourself.

I actually feel bad for your today. I'm going to take it easy on you and give you a tip. Try referencing some pop culture that people might actually recognize -- preferably, from this century.

Pfft. Charo.

Cuchi cuchi, butthead.

And, for the record, that was just a harmless rash.

PrincessButtercup said...

Now, honestly, I must say,
I love the blogs you send my way.
I am a reader of that you can be sure
But this Dingo character, can you endure?

His chiding remarks I am sure you can beat,
I will watch with interest from my seat
As you back and forth your poetic stance
and make the repartee as a dance.
The rhythm and tempo is clear to me
As I wonder what the next blog will be :)

htwavcbh said...

Charo - you got the reference... I know you have posters of her on your wall right next to Gopher and Captain Stubbing.

This is the best insult you could come up with? This is barely worth the effort I put into this response.

Evil Dingo said...

I'm surprised you had time to respond at all -- isn't ChiPs on?