Friday, November 20, 2009

The Long Yellow Light

On my way home today I was pulled over by a cop. And rightly so.

Right about here you're asking yourself why I would have been pulled over. Actually right about now you're wondering why you're reading this boring piece of trash, but back to the point.

Did I rob a bank and lead the coppers in hot pursuit? No. Did I defraud some grandma of her life's savings by telling her to invest in my company that makes golden trivets? No (business idea!). Did I publicly criticize the fact that Barack Obama has been in office as president of the US for over a year and still the world isn't fixed? Well yes... but that's not a crime (until the democrats read this).

In fact all I did was run a yellow light. It was a long yellow too. I saw it coming and tried to break. My foot got caught between the pedals and then I had a split second - slow down and get smucked in the intersection or go on through.

I went through.

And of course right behind me is your friendly motorcycle cop. He caught up to me at the next intersection and told me to pull over. I did, shaking my head all the while. When he strolled up to the window I already had the licence and registration out (this is the first time I've been pulled over by the cops, but TV has taught me the lines). He asked me if I knew why he'd pulled me over. I thought about saying "Because you wanted to say hi?" but the officer didn't look like a Backyardigans fan.

For one of the few times in my life I wisely kept my mouth shut.

"I went through the yellow back there," was what I actually said.

"What happened?" he asked.

"I saw the yellow," I said. "I tried to brake but my foot got caught between the pedals. So I went through." I didn't try to deny it. I didn't give him a lame excuse (I gave him a lame reason (a reason is an excuse that happens to be true)).

"Fair enough," he said. He took my information and went back and checked my credentials and verified that I didn't have any priors. He wrote up a warning ticket and let me go.

Of course, it didn't hurt that I showed him my boobs.


Tanya said...


FGM said...

you flashed your boobs to get out of a ticket, dear brother you've just set the man's movement back 20 years.