If I were a time travelling superhero and had already reset all the important things in history that had turned out wrong (you know, like killing Hitler in his sleep, etc) I'd be able to turn my attention to the smaller stuff..
If I could find a way...
One of the things I think I would do is zip back into that meeting room where the guy, during the brainstorming session, says: "You know, we have squeezeable kethcup, and we have squeezeable mustard... what we need to complete the ensemble is squeezeable ... relish!"
At about that point I would turn to the guy and would say: I am from your future. The utopia that exists today is because I brought it all about. I have monitored the strings of time and have sought all those strains of dischord and now I come to you - creator of squeezeable relish. I come to bring you these portentious words...
I'd take back all those words that hurt you...
"Your squeezeable relish does not work! For you see, relish, by its nature, clings together tighter than a trailor park family. You cannot separate it. Only by a feat of inhuman strength can you squeeze hard enough to get more than a relish juice which is both demoralizing and disgusting. Heed my words!
Oh, and nice work on the spray cheese."
And you'd stay...
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