Wanted: 1 Hr

Well now that work has settled down again and my brain cells have resumed their normal level of activity (it’s sort of a slow moving zombie shuffle) and the cold seems to have cleared for a bit I reckon it’s time to get back on the blog. Speaking of Time: Daylight Savings Time Sucks

Word on the street is that this whole time change thing is Ben Franklin’s fault. Thanks Ben. That’s another thing you’ve ruined for me (kite flying is the other one).  Last weekend, although sick, I was feeling quite comfortable with my days and nights being right where they were. It was light in the morning when I drove to work and I didn’t have to worry about driving over the center line during inclement weather like I do now (my dark vision isn’t that good in case you’re wondering thanks to several eye problems I’ve had).

My three year old boy was also doing well – we’d blacked out his room so he didn’t get up to early and have him on an IV of Vitamin C to prevent the scurvy from setting in and Vitamin D to stop the Rickets  and Vitamin Z… which we made out of some mashed banana and sugar; and he was beginning to go to sleep in the 8:30pm range – now thanks to the miracle of modern daylight savings time my kid is awake longer than I am.

As the song says, time keeps on tickin’ tickin’ ticking into the future; but this weekend time didn’t just tick into the future – it vaulted. The Thief of Time hit again and managed to steal away another hour.

Okay I did some research on the whole thing (occasionally I like to know what I’m talking about) and it turns out that Ben Franklin only proposed the idea of daylight savings time as a satire. I can appreciate that Ben, but I still hate you for the Almanac. The true culprit according to Wiki (and the Internet would not lie to me, its favourite son) is some guy from New Zealand, a country which is now lucky that it hosted The Lord of the Rings  and I swore never to say anything bad about it – or otherwise I’d be saying something bad about it.

The guy was a bug collector. A bug collector. He wanted to stay up later and collect bugs. I sincerely hope this man is roasting in the lowest of the nine hells, right beside the broom closet, where he’s being eaten alive by ants that, between mouthfuls, are saying: “Ant, am I glad there’s an extra hour in the day to eat this guy…”

As you’re stumbling around for the next few days keep that in mind – you’re up an hour later so some douche bag could hunt bugs.  How does that make you feel?
Tired probably.

My point is the three words Daylight, Saving and Time should not appear in the same sentence unless we’re talking about a sequel to a Stallone movie… Daylight 2: Saving Time.